Always Listening
by scoob2222
Summary: Mac hears Eli even when he doesn't speak.


8. The first duty of love is to listen. By **Paul Tillich**

She'd always been a good listener. She wasn't real good at giving advice, nor did she enjoy it, but she had no problem listening to people when they needed to talk. When she was a kid her mother used to spend hours just talking to her. When she got older it had been friends that had felt comfortable unloading their problems on her.

Unfortunately she had learned very early on in her relationship with Eli Navarro that listening didn't work quite with him. For one thing he never talked. Well, he talked plenty; he just tended to skip over his innermost feelings and thoughts. He told her he loved her everyday. He told her she was gorgeous, he told her when she made something great for dinner, he told her when he was pissed at her, pissed at the world.

But there were some things he kept to himself. He never spoke about Felix ever. He never spoke about the PCH or Thumper or anything else that made his body tense when someone mentioned it.

She didn't push. There were things she would never know about her husband, but she was okay with that, because she knew that he kept them a secret to protect her, and because they were too painful for him to deal with. It wasn't about not trusting her, or lying to her—it was about protecting himself, and the new life they'd made together. He'd told her once that he had become a new person after the time he'd spent in jail. He didn't want to revisit the past; he didn't want to risk going back to being that person again. She knew that so little scared Eli, so when he told her things like that she respected them, period. Besides, she had demons of her own she preferred to keep hidden.

Unfortunately she couldn't respect his privacy right now because whatever was wrong was slowly driving him crazy. It had started as just a general moodiness. He was quieter than usual, he snapped faster, but over the last few months it had grown into a much larger problem. It had begun oozing out when he yelled at customers—and since they both co-owned a business that was good for no one, then his family, and in the last week of so he'd been all but ignoring her. It was time to stop being Mrs. Nice Navarro.

"Eli," she called from the couch as he sped past her, "Come sit with me."

"Later, baby, I have to fix the car."

"The car can wait," she put an extra bit of firm in her voice, "Come sit with me¼.please."

He relented and sat down next to her¼.on the other end of the couch.

"Do I have a third arm sticking out of me?"

"What?"

"Well you're so far away I assumed there was something wrong with me?"

"And you thought that might be a third arm?"

"Would you just shut up and get over here?"

He edged closer, but still not as close as she'd like, "You two need room," he gestured toward her 5 month pregnant belly.

"Little Navarro and I are fine. Well no, Mrs. Navarro would like you to stop being an idiot and hold me."

Eli smiled then and gathered her carefully into his arms.

"That better, querida?" he asked.

"Much," she said and wrapped her arms around him, "Now, tell me what's wrong?" She tightened her arms as he stiffened, "Don't even think of moving."

"Mac, baby."

"And don't try and sweet talk your way out of this, Eli. You've been off for over a week. I gave you time to sort it through, you clearly haven't, so now you're going to tell me."

"Whether I like it or not," he growled the words, anger clear in his voice.

"Yeah, it comes as part of marriage and family deal. And don't growl at me¼.its not intimidating,"

"Is anything I do intimating in this house?"

Mac pressed a finger to her chin and pretended to think, "No, not so much. Now, stop stalling."

Eli sighed and rubbed a hand over his almost bald head, "I've just¼.been doing a lot of thinking."

"About?" she asked. He remained silent again and looked away from her. She grabbed his chin and forced him to meet her eyes, "Come on, Eli, please¼.just talk to me. You're really starting to freak me out here."

With a groan he gathered her closer and kissed her head, "I'm sorry, baby, the last thing I want is to worry you. It's not a big deal or anything, it's just ever since the sonogram the other day I've been thinking. We're having a baby."

Mac furrowed her brows, "The midnight runs for ice cream and the huge belly didn't tip you off."

He shook his head, his eyes completely serious, "I mean it. I knew before, but this time it really hit me. In a few months there's going to be an actual person that I have to take care of. To clothe, to feed, to protect, what if I completely fuck that up? Shit¼." He stopped, "What if I say fuck in front of the kid?"

Mac couldn't help but laugh, just a little at that, causing Eli to pull away and say, "Forget it."

"No, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you, really, it's just, Eli, don't you think I worry about that stuff too."

"Yeah?"

"Its not like I was little miss maternal as a kid. I didn't play house, I can't stand my baby brother, and I've never even changed a diaper before."

"Then how come you seem to be so calm about it. I mean you're buying stuff, you knew which Lamaze class to sign up for, and you're a natural."

"Eli, I've been reading two baby books a week. Then I did an internet search and excel spreadsheet which compared which was the best brand of diapers, whether it was better to nurse or bottle feed, and which crib to buy. Plus, Wallace's mom recommended the Lamaze class because her friend told her about it. None of this is ingrained in my DNA. I'm just as worried as you. However, we both have one thing that you seem to have forgotten about."

"Oh God, I already forgot something to do for the baby."

Mac sighed, "You forgot that we're not doing this alone. We have each other. You know, you're the daddy, I'm the mommy. When I make a mistake with the baby, you'll be there. When I feel like it's too much I have you to lean on. And you have me. I know you hate depending on anything too much, but you did it when you asked me to marry you. So, you're just going to have to take another leap of faith with me."

He pressed a firm kiss to her mouth, making her sigh happily when he pulled back, "I'm the luckiest man alive, you know that right?"

"I'm glad you think so, because I want food."

He laughed and gently pulled away to grab his keys and wallet, "What's it going to be this time?"

"Pizza, extra large, extra cheese, pineapple, olives, pepperoni and extra garlic."

He tried not to gag at the description and made a mental note to pick up breath mints on the way home, "Whatever you want. I'll be back soon."

"Eli¼" she called just as he opened the front door. He turned back towards her and she smiled, "Are you¼okay now?"

He moved back to her and gave her a deeper kiss this time, "Querida, I'm always better after talking to you." He kissed her again and she settled down onto the couch and waited for his return. Her stomach growled. She smiled and rubbed it, speaking soothingly she said, "Its okay baby. Daddy'll be back soon with food."

Continuing to rub her stomach she looked around. She knew there was no one in the house, but she still lowered her voice to a whisper as she spoke to her unborn child, "I….I don't know if you actually can hear what I'm saying, but I just want you to know that, despite what you might have heard, your Daddy and I are so ready for you. We might not have the most fashionable diaper bag or anything, but we love you so much and you're not even here yet. And even thought your Daddy doesn't think so I know that he's going to be the best father ever." She stopped for a moment when the baby kicked, almost like she was listening to her, "And everything's going to be okay. Me, you and your Dad, we're going to be just fine."


End file.
